The Loop of Life: Love, Loss, and Grace

On October 15 of this year, my father passed away at the age of 85. His was a life well-lived, rich with meaning, and marked by incredible love. He was adored by family, respected by friends, and had an undeniable impact on the lives he touched. He and my mother celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary this past summer, still deeply in love and committed to each other.

Dad’s life was full of amazing highs but also many challenges. Growing up, he had to work from the age of nine to help support his family. His father struggled with alcoholism, and this responsibility placed a significant weight on Dad’s young shoulders. He lived with frequent headaches, endured the stress of high-pressure jobs, and in his later years, began showing signs of Parkinson’s disease. Yet, through every difficulty, he persevered.

His life, like all our lives, was a journey of ups and downs, joys and heartbreaks. It’s what I’ve come to think of as “the loop of life.”

Two days after my father’s passing, within hours of the visitation and funeral, my granddaughter, Caroline Grace, came into the world—a bright light in the midst of sorrow. My niece, listening to our family talk about the sadness of Dad’s death alongside the joy of Caroline’s birth, coined a phrase that stayed with me: “That’s the Loop of Life.” We all agreed it was charming and insightful. But the more I thought about it, the more it seemed to capture a truth far deeper than the commonly used “circle of life.”

You see, life doesn’t resemble a perfect circle. A circle is uniform, complete, predictable in its endless, unbroken rotation. But life doesn’t fit that mold. Instead, life is full of loops, irregular and free-form. Loops have variation, they repeat, and they lack the perfection and symmetry of a circle. They are not neat or predictable. In this sense, life is full of loops: moments that echo one another, carrying echoes of past events into the present.

One of these loops, especially, keeps repeating in my mind. Caroline’s middle name, Grace, was chosen for its meaning—a beautiful reminder of the idea of grace in our lives. “Amazing Grace” was my father’s favorite hymn. During the visitation and funeral, it played on repeat. My cousin and her son performed a modern version of it, and the congregation sang the traditional version during the service. The pianist played it several times as mourners came to pay their respects. In those 24 hours around my father’s farewell and Caroline Grace’s arrival, I heard the word “grace” hundreds of times.

This “Loop of Life” became vividly clear to me. My father left this world, and his great-granddaughter entered it. Both lives, each in their unique way, will make this world better. It’s a comforting thought in times of sadness, knowing that just as one chapter closes, another opens. Life continues, with new lives and fresh memories woven from our love and legacy.

This loop of life isn’t easy. The path isn’t straightforward or predictable, just as grief isn’t a linear journey. Instead, we find ourselves going through loops of joy and sorrow, celebration and loss. As I reflect on this season of gratitude and celebration, I realize that life doesn’t fit into neat cycles. There are those who, in this season, are carrying heavy burdens of grief, loss, or other hardships, while others are experiencing newfound joy. As life moves through its loops, we must carry these emotions side-by-side.

This year, I’m especially mindful of those facing difficult times. Yes, there is always something to be grateful for, but sometimes, it’s okay not to force ourselves into a daily gratitude list. Right now, I’m allowing myself to simply sit with my feelings. Life doesn’t demand constant celebration or a relentless focus on happiness; sometimes, it’s enough to acknowledge the range of emotions we carry each day—joy, doubt, sadness, fear, hope, and yes, grace.

In this moment, grace holds a particular resonance for me. Caroline Grace represents the continuation of our family, a bright presence amid the sorrow of my father’s departure. And Amazing Grace, the hymn my father cherished, serves as a powerful reminder of the grace that accompanies us through life’s ups and downs.

Let’s hold close this idea of life as a series of loops, where love and loss, joy and sorrow, often coexist. In these loops, we are given the opportunity to support one another, to love deeply, and to hold each other up. It’s the grace that guides us, that helps us make sense of the messiness and beauty of life, reminding us that even in the imperfect, there is meaning.

This is what I’ve been reflecting on during these recent days. The loop of life is not a flawless circle, nor is it meant to be. It’s a beautifully imperfect path where we find ourselves repeating moments and emotions, where memories of loved ones linger and echo in our hearts, and where each new generation carries forward the essence of those who came before.

As we go through this season, let’s be mindful of each other’s journeys. Let’s remember the grace that holds us together, that carries us forward, and that remains in the hearts of those who leave and those who arrive. My father’s life was a testament to resilience, and Caroline Grace’s arrival is a testament to hope. Both are part of this loop of life, and both will make their own unique, beautiful marks on the world.

So, let’s move through our own loops with compassion—for ourselves and for each other. May we cherish the joyful moments and find grace in the difficult ones. Life isn’t perfect, but through it all, we can be there for each other. It’s the grace we give and the grace we receive that keeps us going, through each imperfect, extraordinary loop.